How do I give up?
Your decision to quit might make some problems seem worse in the short-term, but you will end up feeling much better about yourself and your life in the long run. Remember:
"no pain, no gain".
Adding up the cost:
Are you concerned about the amount of money you are spending on ___?
Complete the table below and calculate what ______is costing you per year.
$____________per week x 52 OR $______________per month x 12
TOTAL COST PER YEAR $_________________
Do these worry you?
Feeling addicted or not being able to control ______
Feeling anxious and paranoid
Feeling like my thoughts are always racing except when IÂm ______
Having trouble sleeping properly
Not doing my job properly anymore
Taking risks driving
Wasting time
Most people who are successful in giving up
do so "cold turkey".
That is, they simply stop using one day and donÂt go back to it.
Some people try to give up gradually by cutting back on their use.
This can sometimes work but it can also prolong the agony.
People who cut down sometimes rapidly return to heavy use.
If you are serious about quitting, the best way is usually to simply stop.
You might be pleasantly surprised that itÂs easier than you thought.
Soon after quitting you will find that your thinking starts to become clearer.
In order to quit you have to confront your own desire.
You will essentially be going into battle against a part of yourself that you no longer wish to exist. Giving up, especially if you have been using regularly for some time, is a bit like losing an old friend. But giving up should not feel like a funeral, but a beginning of your new life.
Do not get upset about quitting  think of it as a positive step for the better.
For this reason you must be well prepared and have a plan worked out well in advance.
If you follow some of the steps suggested in this guide you will find it easier to achieve your goal.
If you are serious about stopping, it is now time to decide when you are going to quit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A CONTRACT WITH MYSELF
I promise
THAT I SHALL
QUIT
On
           ..
DATE
            .
SIGNED
"Our greatest victories and those which are most enduring are our victories over ourselves"
Napoleon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My decision
Set a date which you designate as Quit Day. Give yourself at least one week of preparation before Quit Day. Remember that the decision is yours and the commitment you make to quit is with yourself. It is a good idea to sign and date a contract with yourself now. You might like to consider making other changes at this time, like quitting cigarettes as well.
Strategies to help me quit.
Now try to think of some things that you can do that you know will help you when you give up.
3 THINGS I CAN DO STRAIGHT AWAY
TO HELP ME GIVE UP:
1 _____________________________________________
2_____________________________________________
3_____________________________________________
Changing my old habits
The following strategies may prove useful to you in quitting.
Set a DATE and STICK to it.
REPLACE with NEW ACTIVITIES and INTERESTS.
AVOID SITUATIONS WHERE YOU used to go.
YOU do not HAVE TO go it alone.
ASK A FRIEND FOR SUPPORT.
From the previous illustration you should be able to identify a number of strategies you can use to help you quit, especially in the initial stages. All of these may be useful at some stage or another.
A check of my feelings
On the day that you give up, and for a week or more after, some people can feel out of sorts. There are a number of "withdrawal symptoms" caused by stopping. These are some of the things you might experience:
Anxiety
Moodiness
Irritability
Tremors
Perspiration
Nausea
Sleep disturbances.
These are a normal part of giving up.
Your body is flushing out the toxins.
Take it easy, stay with your resolve to quit, and these feelings and problems will soon go away.
How do I stay off?
Once you have set a date and you have made the initial steps toward quitting, you will experience times when you want to break your contract. Falling back into your old habits is one reason why people fail in their attempts to quit. It may be helpful for you to alter your lifestyle to accommodate the new you.
Lifestyle changes
It is often useful to make other changes to your lifestyle in order to be successful in quitting. Think about what you are going to say to your old friends. Change your diet to include healthier food. Set new routines  like increasing exercise. If stress is a major issue for you then learn stress management techniques, or do your best to avoid stressful situations. Work hard to improve your relationships. Make efforts to meet new people. Try to find new meaning in your life.
Anger and Frustration
Anger and frustration can lead to strong urges. When you feel impulsive and frustrated try not to get overwhelmed by urges. It is helpful to focus on understanding the feelings until the craving passes. Every craving you survive puts you closer to your ultimate long term goal.
Avoidance
Avoid situations that are likely to cause you to relapse.
Remind myself why I gave up
It is often a good idea to remind yourself why you gave up. Re-read this guide and think about your reasons for quitting when you feel you might be getting into a situation.
Cleaning up my life
Remove all the things from your home that remind you.
In the space provided try to identify some strategies which may help you.
STRATEGIES I CAN USE:
1______________________________________________
2______________________________________________
3______________________________________________
Lapses
Sometimes you will not be able to fight the urge. If you do slip up try not to think of yourself as a failure. Think of it as a lapse in concentration and renew your commitment to quit. It is a good idea to remind yourself that you are confident and capable.
Rewarding myself
Now that you have given up, reward yourself in new ways. One good suggestion is to give yourself a gift at the end of each week that you are successful in fulfilling your contract. Try to match the cost of the gift with the average weekly cost which you calculated earlier. You may like to keep a record of this.
Week Gift Cost
Eg. Week 1
Movie and dinner for two $100
"Desire is the key to motivation, but itÂs the determination and commitment
to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal that will enable you to attain the success you seek"
Mario Andretti (race car driver)
Quitting is like learning a new skill. The more effort you put into it the more skilled you become. Apply yourself to the task and you will notice an improvement. If you feel pressured or like you will relapse, remind yourself that it was a thing of the past and you no longer need it.
Here are some comments by people who have given up.
"I gave up because I was in a rut. It was easier than I thought."
"My friends and work mates have noticed how much happier and positive I am now."
"I have more time now to enjoy my friends and family."
"I have some fun memories. I sometimes miss it but I would not go back to that lifestyle anymore."
"I wasted so much time and money. I donÂt have to worry about this now."
"I felt myself getting paranoid and withdrawn every time."
"I am surprisingly more relaxed and peAlways now."
...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?
Your decision to quit might make some problems seem worse in the short-term, but you will end up feeling much better about yourself and your life in the long run. Remember:
"no pain, no gain".
Adding up the cost:
Are you concerned about the amount of money you are spending on ___?
Complete the table below and calculate what ______is costing you per year.
$____________per week x 52 OR $______________per month x 12
TOTAL COST PER YEAR $_________________
Do these worry you?
Feeling addicted or not being able to control ______
Feeling anxious and paranoid
Feeling like my thoughts are always racing except when IÂm ______
Having trouble sleeping properly
Not doing my job properly anymore
Taking risks driving
Wasting time
Most people who are successful in giving up
do so "cold turkey".
That is, they simply stop using one day and donÂt go back to it.
Some people try to give up gradually by cutting back on their use.
This can sometimes work but it can also prolong the agony.
People who cut down sometimes rapidly return to heavy use.
If you are serious about quitting, the best way is usually to simply stop.
You might be pleasantly surprised that itÂs easier than you thought.
Soon after quitting you will find that your thinking starts to become clearer.
In order to quit you have to confront your own desire.
You will essentially be going into battle against a part of yourself that you no longer wish to exist. Giving up, especially if you have been using regularly for some time, is a bit like losing an old friend. But giving up should not feel like a funeral, but a beginning of your new life.
Do not get upset about quitting  think of it as a positive step for the better.
For this reason you must be well prepared and have a plan worked out well in advance.
If you follow some of the steps suggested in this guide you will find it easier to achieve your goal.
If you are serious about stopping, it is now time to decide when you are going to quit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A CONTRACT WITH MYSELF
I promise
THAT I SHALL
QUIT
On
           ..
DATE
            .
SIGNED
"Our greatest victories and those which are most enduring are our victories over ourselves"
Napoleon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My decision
Set a date which you designate as Quit Day. Give yourself at least one week of preparation before Quit Day. Remember that the decision is yours and the commitment you make to quit is with yourself. It is a good idea to sign and date a contract with yourself now. You might like to consider making other changes at this time, like quitting cigarettes as well.
Strategies to help me quit.
Now try to think of some things that you can do that you know will help you when you give up.
3 THINGS I CAN DO STRAIGHT AWAY
TO HELP ME GIVE UP:
1 _____________________________________________
2_____________________________________________
3_____________________________________________
Changing my old habits
The following strategies may prove useful to you in quitting.
Set a DATE and STICK to it.
REPLACE with NEW ACTIVITIES and INTERESTS.
AVOID SITUATIONS WHERE YOU used to go.
YOU do not HAVE TO go it alone.
ASK A FRIEND FOR SUPPORT.
From the previous illustration you should be able to identify a number of strategies you can use to help you quit, especially in the initial stages. All of these may be useful at some stage or another.
A check of my feelings
On the day that you give up, and for a week or more after, some people can feel out of sorts. There are a number of "withdrawal symptoms" caused by stopping. These are some of the things you might experience:
Anxiety
Moodiness
Irritability
Tremors
Perspiration
Nausea
Sleep disturbances.
These are a normal part of giving up.
Your body is flushing out the toxins.
Take it easy, stay with your resolve to quit, and these feelings and problems will soon go away.
How do I stay off?
Once you have set a date and you have made the initial steps toward quitting, you will experience times when you want to break your contract. Falling back into your old habits is one reason why people fail in their attempts to quit. It may be helpful for you to alter your lifestyle to accommodate the new you.
Lifestyle changes
It is often useful to make other changes to your lifestyle in order to be successful in quitting. Think about what you are going to say to your old friends. Change your diet to include healthier food. Set new routines  like increasing exercise. If stress is a major issue for you then learn stress management techniques, or do your best to avoid stressful situations. Work hard to improve your relationships. Make efforts to meet new people. Try to find new meaning in your life.
Anger and Frustration
Anger and frustration can lead to strong urges. When you feel impulsive and frustrated try not to get overwhelmed by urges. It is helpful to focus on understanding the feelings until the craving passes. Every craving you survive puts you closer to your ultimate long term goal.
Avoidance
Avoid situations that are likely to cause you to relapse.
Remind myself why I gave up
It is often a good idea to remind yourself why you gave up. Re-read this guide and think about your reasons for quitting when you feel you might be getting into a situation.
Cleaning up my life
Remove all the things from your home that remind you.
In the space provided try to identify some strategies which may help you.
STRATEGIES I CAN USE:
1______________________________________________
2______________________________________________
3______________________________________________
Lapses
Sometimes you will not be able to fight the urge. If you do slip up try not to think of yourself as a failure. Think of it as a lapse in concentration and renew your commitment to quit. It is a good idea to remind yourself that you are confident and capable.
Rewarding myself
Now that you have given up, reward yourself in new ways. One good suggestion is to give yourself a gift at the end of each week that you are successful in fulfilling your contract. Try to match the cost of the gift with the average weekly cost which you calculated earlier. You may like to keep a record of this.
Week Gift Cost
Eg. Week 1
Movie and dinner for two $100
"Desire is the key to motivation, but itÂs the determination and commitment
to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal that will enable you to attain the success you seek"
Mario Andretti (race car driver)
Quitting is like learning a new skill. The more effort you put into it the more skilled you become. Apply yourself to the task and you will notice an improvement. If you feel pressured or like you will relapse, remind yourself that it was a thing of the past and you no longer need it.
Here are some comments by people who have given up.
"I gave up because I was in a rut. It was easier than I thought."
"My friends and work mates have noticed how much happier and positive I am now."
"I have more time now to enjoy my friends and family."
"I have some fun memories. I sometimes miss it but I would not go back to that lifestyle anymore."
"I wasted so much time and money. I donÂt have to worry about this now."
"I felt myself getting paranoid and withdrawn every time."
"I am surprisingly more relaxed and peAlways now."
...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?
posted by Sir(%)withLove at 17:00
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