I want to spend time with snail...
everytime I think about it...
it means leaving and I feel badly about the boys...
will they think I am a bad guy? they count on me being around...
but I am dying... emotionally, just crippled.
and I am not wanted around here.

I wanted to talk money with my future ex...

and set up some kind of non-hurt-the-other-person Deal.

I get stuck somedays... thinking she "really does love me" and that it is fixable...
but it IS NOT fixable.

somedays I think about how it was when she loved me...
how we were...
it once was a good love... a story book romance...
worth hurting others just to have...

I can't hardly believe it...
that I sit here today...

with her not caring after all I've done.

she doesn't care where I am ...what I'm doing....
if I'm am happy or sad... angry or stressed...
she even doesn't care if I am hurt...

the disrepect is incredible...
she would never treat anyone in her life the way she treats me

I don't deserve this... I DON'T


FUCK!









"No where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be... it's easy! All you need is LOVE!"