the absolute ultimate and final survey...

the absolute ultimate and final survey...


the absolute ultimate and final survey...
Current mood: contemplative



1. Do you have a dirty mind?
my mind is a battlefield where good and evil struggle and good always wins after they sit down and enjoy some good porn together.

2. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged?
I'd laugh ...and then I'd hope she'd find happiness anyway.

3. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
lets see.... have to keep quitting smoking.

4. Have you ever really wanted something so bad and got it?
yes, sometimes desire alone can get you what you want. not always.

5. What would you do if you saw a person fall down a flight of stairs?
oh lets help ... c'mon... how big a flight? how cute a person? minor injuries we giggle first, then help.

6. Are you aware of what happens around you?
I am in touch with the universe both spirit and body. or did this mean can I change a light bulb when it burns out?

7. When is your next trip?
I'm on it... life is a trip. wanted to go to fla for spring training ..missed that this year dammit. okay next trip could be to east lansing ...maybe toronto... we'll see.

8. Would you ever consider having a long distance relationship?
I have many close friends far away. it can be the best of times and the worst of times.... been there done that... loved it and would do it again for the right person.

9. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
yup

10. Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
I like to listen and learn. the controlling part of me wants to know everything the rest of me will take it as it comes.

12. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
fer sure...yup

13. Anything hurt on your body right now?
I'm in denial

14. Have you done anything bad recently?
was it bad to not answer becki's email? I have ignored it for days.

15. What was the last thing you ate?
mashed mo-tatoes and broc oh and some ice cream.

16. When was the last time you laughed?
last big laugh was with rhee... on the phone... why are luftwaffles so funny?

17.What are you listening to?
my bird pearl is hooting quietly ... the tv is on way low and my fingers are clacking at the keyboard while Oreo ...laps at her bowl. its early sunday morning... I can hear the dryer clanking downstairs and the hum of the furnace on a cold morning. I'm simply gonna have to put on some tunes.

18. When was your last shower?
lol last night with the dog...she's clean now at least.

19. Do you have any strange/odd things in common with your best friend?
my best friend? odd or strange? frankly once you get "in my group" there's no best and we're all odd and strange somehow. I would say we share dark secrets.

20. Have you eaten a lot today?
nothing yet today

21. Do your best friends know your family?
no ...not at all

22. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 35?
hahahahaha married 2.5 times by 35 check.

23. Is there something you're doing tonight?
be dad, read with my son ....rest, laundry ..always laundry, tv ... please let the Simpsons be on.... getting online usually around 10p

24. Would you rather someone be honest & hurt you or lie and save your feelings?
oh hurt the fuck outta me.. go on... I'm tough. I love the truth... anyway it comes. but hey, if you like me say you are sorry if you hurt me. the human thing to do when you hurt feelings is say sorry and do better.

25. Have you told anyone you love them this week?
yes and yes and um yes... and not yet...

26. Last two things you drank?
water and um... diet pepsi

27. What will you do tomorrow?
work work work stress out and then yesss teaching tomorrow night

28. What color is your shrit?
navy blue - Detroit Tigers pull over sweat shiirt

29. Do you like roses?
yes

30. Would you ever date someone 10 years older than you?
you mean carbon date?
ba-dum... ty ty try the veal

31. Whats the overpriced drink of your choice?
they are all over priced ... I love margaritas if its drinking we're doing.

32. What is your favorite kind of hot drink?
hot chocolate or coffee with tons o sugar and creamer

33. Whats it like outside?
sun coming up... icy ground... not fun but pretty

34. What was the last thing you procrastinated doing?
cleaning and laundry ...making calls to baseball players

35. Whens the last time you saw your siblings?
its been a few years since I saw my brother

36. What would you do if you got stuck in an elevator?
you have choices? what write a novel? phone a friend? how about call for help and wait to get out? and then after that.... the mind does crazy things.

37. Do you watch TV or listen to music more?
tv is on all the time but music lots and lots

38. Did you ever intentionally vomit?
oh well, who doesn't ? it can help pass the time... what kind of question is that? I've lived with a person that has a severe eating disorder for over 20 years... I live in vomit town... no I don't vomit..even when I want to.

39. Would you rather your bf/gf have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
I would rather walk to school than carry my lunch... what ? lets say you're on a boat with mom and wife and the boat sinks ... who gets the life preservers?
for goodnessake.. eyes and smiles go together... I want both

40. If someone cheated on you, what would you do?
say to myself ... 'well they all do... now what does it all mean?'

41. Do you want kids?
I didn't then I did... now I have 3 ...more if I win the lottery. kids are great... they change your life.

42. What is your favorite kind of gum?
don't do gum very often ...doesn't matter

43. Would you consider yourself a bad or good influence?
try to be a good influence... always.

44. Who sits next to you in your first class?
my first class? I'm never in first class... I go coach and sleep.

45. Do you like the show A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila?
its not a show... tell me that someone didn't pitch that title and make money.

46. Would you rather have an apple or an orange?
orange

47. Do you enjoy watching other people trip?
not on acid.. that's heavy man

48. Would you ever get a tattoo?
no

50. What time is it?
855a

51. Who do you love?
we looking for names?
wow
and how big a love?
love James Andy and Marcus...
love my mom
love poor venita
love snail
love rhee
...love is what I do...
maybe I love you too


54. Do words hurt you?
we try to keep words in perspective... not always successfully

55. Do you like wearing leather?
my belt, my shoes, my coat, my gloves... would a leather vest be too much?

56. Did you sleep at least 7 hours last night?
no

57. Do spiders scare you?
NO

58. Halloween or Christmas?
hate that choice... both

59. Would you rather wear glasses or have braces?
had braces... in denial about glasses no druthers here...

60. Do you think that your name defines who you are?
sure, yes if its "OJ"

62. Do you have any upcoming tests?
daily ...life is a test

63. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
SUNNY!

64. Who's your best friend?
the next person that calls me and says I love you... is that shallow?

65. Do you find it hard to concentrate?
yes on these surveys and questions...

67. Does this mean what I think it means?
yes

68. It hurts when I do this... what should I do?
stop doing it

69. You have room on your credit card, will you spend it this week?
credit card?

70. Toilet paper hangs OVER or UNDER?
over

71. Favorite Simpsons character?
Homer, gots to be... d'oh!

72. Last CD you bought?
Dixie Chicks Live

73. Give a great back rub... or want one?
I never get .. always give give give

74. Crushed Ice or Cubes?
oh, crushed please

75. New Year's Eve... out on the town? or in, with TV and snuggling
IN

76. Would you ever date someone 20 years younger than yourself?
been there done that

77. Would you kiss someone more than 10 years older than yourself?
what on the lips? oops, yeah did that too when I was 22 !

78. If you had it would you lend money to a friend or go buy then what they said they needed.
dammit, why did I put this question in... um lend the money, I guess.

79. You go to a Major League Baseball game ...your team is way behind, late in the game... do you stay to the end or leave early?
leave... if its raining too.

80. Peanut butter spoon? yes or no
no

81. in the dark or with the light on?
ooh can we do the strobe thing?

82. Doctor calls and says you need surgery or you die. But after surgery you will never play the violin again. what do you do?
get a second opinion.

83. Watched pots... do they every really boil?
yes

84. Its either sadness or euphoria. pick one
euphoria please

85. Pick first or pick second and get 2 for 1?
pick second

86. Pick your nose in the car if no one ever sees?
who writes these? who answers these? okay yes

87. Pick your friends nose?
sorry no

88. Lets do the dishes...together.... are you washing or drying and putting them away?
washing ...you dry

89. Ice cream cone shop... soft serve or scoops?
soft serve twisty choco vanilla cone please

90. Condoms or the pill? /paper or plastic? /vibe on hi or low?
Condoms ... / plastic / dont' have a vibe

91. black or polka dots?
black

92. Polka or bluegrass?
both

93. Europe or Asia?
Europe

94. Africa or South America?
South America

95. India or Pakistan
India

96. Tennis or Table Tennis?
its called Ping Pong, dude

97. Male Doctor for you or female?
now that's a probing question... either is fine.. mine is Male.

98. Whore or Slut?
I'm a slut.. dont make enough money to be a whore.

99. Dark Side or The Force?
resistance is futile... lost my light sabre... dark side never wins but they have the cool black outfits.

100. more or less?
gawd, more please!

101. Tan or Burn?
Burn

102. Time heals all wounds?
NO

103. Who do you think writes these things?
bored ppl, and ppl that want to manipulate answers from those that wont' share.

104. Obama or Clinton
Obama

105. Kwame? there's no question here just wanted to type "Kwame?"
alright then.

106. If wishes were fishes would we have some fried?
I don't like fish.

107. Meat is murder? yes or no
wow... maybe... but but but... no

108. Shall we end this ?
oh please ... DO go on.

109. You need money... do you ask a friend or call your folks
Folks first... love that fam thang.

110. Name 3 celebrities you would like to kiss.
Angelina Jolie
Jennifer Aniston
Miranda Lambert

111. Patient or Impatient?
Patient

112. In Patient or Out Patient?
Out please

113. Cosmetic surgery in your future?
NO

114. Buried or Creamated?
either is fine

115. Cats or Dogs
Dogs

116. Canada or Mexico
Canada

117. Sunrise or Sunset?
sunset

118. Starter? or Closer?
Starter

119. Time is the only currency of value that God gives you. Did you know this?
Yes

120. Apologize or never let them hear you say sorry?
apologize

121. Can you tell your friends your real life friends you have a myspace?
Yes

122. Can your friends stop giggling when you say you have a myspace bulletin fetish?
NO

123. is this the last question?
wow, yes you made it

now send this to yourself every day and see if the answers change...
or send me $5 and I'll do it for you





get ready to groan

silly

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

'What's the matter?' he asks.

'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.

'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'

'I can't see my ass coming into work today.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk?

A. It's all over town.



A pirate is walking around the waterfront with his parrot, peg leg, hook for a hand, all the pirate acoutrements, and a steering wheel attached to his belt buckle. A sailor approaches him and says, "Cap'n! What's that steering wheel doing on your belt buckle?"

"Arrgh, matey," replies the pirate, "it's driving me nuts!"





and finally, here are a couple of groaners for the upcoming holiday...

A man wanted to buy a pet for his daughter for Easter. He looked at a bunny, a baby duck, and a baby chick. In the end he decided to buy the baby chick because it was a little cheeper.

Q. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A. If it had four doors it would be a sedan!

Q. What college did the Easter Bunny graduate from?
A. John HOPkins






"how your soul learns... blessed and burned in the fire of your life!"