pretending....things are normal when they aren't... it helps to focus on my boys

another....
wonderful convo with julianna...



julianna says: ok hi
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
julianna says: awwww who is that?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: marcus
julianna says: how sweet
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: he's 7 next week
julianna says: that's the baby?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: yeah
julianna says: he is adorable
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: ty
julianna says: yw
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: andy and marcus
marcus at cedar point
first time "driving"
julianna says: You went to cedar point? how fun
andy looks like you
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: he's a comedian too

julianna says: like Dad
julianna says: your boys are all beautiful
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: James is ALOT like me
julianna says:lol i love them
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: lol so that catches you up on the latest pics
julianna says: thank you
















julianna says: what's going on with You?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: its crappy to talk about but I'll give ya the fast version

still crap with wife... no day is good I am surviving and getting to raise my boys

its very hard... a fight every day about money

and about priorities and about how I've failed and how she doesn't have "the basics"

how this man or that man in her life offers her things
julianna says: failed? you stay with her for the boys so they can have a decent upbringing with you and you are putting them before everything, that is not a failure!!!
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: about how she can't stop talking to this guy or that guy
and how she NEVER wants anyone to touch her again fine ...whatever... did I ask to touch
I just live here
julianna says: feel badly for You
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: she's soooooo mean and she gets to use her mental illness as her excuse whenits not fair I'm not allowed to be upset or angry... I'm not allowed to be weak for one second it only makes things worse so its quite a lesson in self discipline
julianna says: i know the feeling
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: meanwhile.... snail .....hmmmmm she can't really talk to me
julianna says: yes how is she doing? awwww
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: I hope okay
julianna says: don't you talk on line?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: no her mom won't allow it now ...silliness
julianna says: didn't you spend time with her not long ago?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: anyway... she THINKs that they are gonna help her go to school NEXT year in september if she just stays there and lives in hell one more year and saves money
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: so I'm fine with backing off and letting her see if she can work her life out
I want her to have a life
I just don't think she should be living there with her rapist any longer
julianna says: her father?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: and if mom isn't protecting her... what good is she, too?
julianna says: poor snail
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: but I did get her back to contacting a counselor a couple weeks ago I hope she goes
julianna says: i hope so too, she really should can i help in any way?
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: and to answer your question she was here for a visit aug 7
julianna says: ok
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: we haven't talked since last week really on the phone
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: and I laughingly said... I ORDER YOU to go to counseling
and not call me ..save your money and figure things out
julianna says: i hope she listened
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: she needs lots of help
julianna says: she really needs to get out of that house and away from her parents
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: but she's selling her life away for use of a car a bed and insulin
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: I know she loves me but... I can help her much right now
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: I am sort of... I care and help as much as I can but

I'm not a shrink and I'm not able to put her in a place to live or whatever...

she's teaching dance classes ...that's good
julianna says: yes that is very good and she's taking a theater class
and she's working at a grocery store part time too
julianna says: ok

▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: miss her right now, but I believe in her too... good luck snaileeeooooo....
((((sooper big hugs)))))))

julianna says: if you want sometime i can talk to her


julianna says: be back soon, going to put girls in for nap
▫§ìřwith£övê▫ says: kk



"how your soul learns... blessed and burned in the fire of your life!"