again today I am angry...
angry and hurting...
I know others in this world are hurting...
some have larger and harder burdens than I do...
but right now I feel mostly like giving up.

venita's messenger today says pretty girl needs a loving sugar daddy.
she is so gone... why don't I let go and move out?

I think that everyday for the last few years...
but today its becoming reality.

I am finding myself thinking about what other things I might do with my life
I am finding my health sucks... I am not a happy camper... and at 45 cancer and other things will be stalking me.

also today, I am thinking about my young friend and on line slave girl - she likes me to call her cunt...
I can imagine what a week of bliss and D/s fun might be like...
I am wishing for that more and more.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like after ...I try to figure out where I'd go next.
But I don't want to move... I don't want to die...
it all just seems inevitable.

I am no help to anyone... and a sad man to be around.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?