another lost weekend...in hell...
or rather...
it started crappy and ended that way tooo.....
not to awful in the middle, but lonely.
I don't know what to do or say with venita around anymore.
I don't know how to do anything "right" - every thing I do is wrong. :(
that's how it feels with her in the room... I can feel the sad face come and don't know how to dig out of the quicksand... from then on I'm screwed.
snail was home recovering from her illness,
and I have nothing but hate (sorry, Jesus!) for her dad and mom...
she needs to make it stop... because they won't.
pixi... met a couple... (they've been talking longer than she and I - I learned this weekend - but she loves me) I don't know really, other than we agreed - it is what it is... we can't be together in real life... circumstances are just that way. I miss her when we don't talk regularly. she has her challenges... I wish I could do more... but its her fight and I wish her strength and love in all this... I missed her this weekend... that is more than I want to admit.
heavens - felt like leaving- she's not well and feels she lets me down... tried to tell her I don't need anything more - that she doesn't let me down and I'm not a fair weather friend.
talked to shy too... she's a bitch she told me again... I guess that's still true.
once upon a time she could have had me... but that's not in me any more I discovered.
I even ventured back into some chatrooms and bantered with strangers... till 3am both nights this weekend. Met some interesting subs and filled my lonely time.
Oh and yes.... I had a great time talking to indie...
she calls me "darling, Sir"... and like venita, she doesn't know her power or how lovely she is.
strange time talking to deanna (as always, what is in that girl's head?)- she knows her power and her beauty ...lol but something else stops her... what?
finally, back at work now 7am because I couldn't lay in bed feeling stupid and useless.
now lets get something done shall we?
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
or rather...
it started crappy and ended that way tooo.....
not to awful in the middle, but lonely.
I don't know what to do or say with venita around anymore.
I don't know how to do anything "right" - every thing I do is wrong. :(
that's how it feels with her in the room... I can feel the sad face come and don't know how to dig out of the quicksand... from then on I'm screwed.
snail was home recovering from her illness,
and I have nothing but hate (sorry, Jesus!) for her dad and mom...
she needs to make it stop... because they won't.
pixi... met a couple... (they've been talking longer than she and I - I learned this weekend - but she loves me) I don't know really, other than we agreed - it is what it is... we can't be together in real life... circumstances are just that way. I miss her when we don't talk regularly. she has her challenges... I wish I could do more... but its her fight and I wish her strength and love in all this... I missed her this weekend... that is more than I want to admit.
heavens - felt like leaving- she's not well and feels she lets me down... tried to tell her I don't need anything more - that she doesn't let me down and I'm not a fair weather friend.
talked to shy too... she's a bitch she told me again... I guess that's still true.
once upon a time she could have had me... but that's not in me any more I discovered.
I even ventured back into some chatrooms and bantered with strangers... till 3am both nights this weekend. Met some interesting subs and filled my lonely time.
Oh and yes.... I had a great time talking to indie...
she calls me "darling, Sir"... and like venita, she doesn't know her power or how lovely she is.
strange time talking to deanna (as always, what is in that girl's head?)- she knows her power and her beauty ...lol but something else stops her... what?
finally, back at work now 7am because I couldn't lay in bed feeling stupid and useless.
now lets get something done shall we?
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
posted by Sir(%)withLove at 06:59
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