basic human needs?

p-mom: Good Morning Sir

SirwLove: hi there
p-mom: How are You this day Sir?

SirwLove: so far so good for no damn good reason ...hows you?

p-mom: a girl is still alive, although after yesterday, she is still thinking that the kiss of cold sharp steel would ease her existance yesterday was a very long day

SirwLove: for me as well... we are starting fresh today focus on the good things
p-mom: smiles.. nice try Sir

SirwLove: like favorite songs... name some like favorite places... name some like favorite body parts.. lol name some

p-mom: Jon dumped me yesterday or rather a girl should say... Jon decided to stop seeing a girl yesterday
SirwLove: hmmmmm and his reasoning?
p-mom: he claims to have lost interest in sex which... a girl suspects is possible but...a girl even made it clear to him that while the sex is awesome, it is not the other reason she enjoys his company
SirwLove: that's a lousy answer on his part
p-mom: He said he didn't need friends
SirwLove: but okay fine whatever... we knew it was a flawed relationship... maybe this creates the space for something good to happen... I feel that

p-mom: aye..everyone has the same bit of wisdom..everything will be fine..

SirwLove: ((hugs)) its hard to see from where you are... but I feel it

p-mom: But you know it won't ever be fine again... because your heart has died in your chest, only it is too stupid to quit beating

SirwLove: well that seems overly dramatic since you knew he was not "all that" or "the guy"... if you heart quit beating over this guy... then you NEEDED him out of your life so you can create the space for something good that is coming ... like if you were gonna get a brand new HD flat screen tv you need to remove the old one so there is a space for the new

p-mom: i fell in love with Jon a long time ago...and have dealt...more or less with my feelins without letting him know
SirwLove: (((hugs))) well if he knew that ...then what he's done is cruel ...I'm sorry

p-mom: somehow...i don't think he did oh.. i think he might has suspected

SirwLove: okay THEN if he suspected ... and am guessing he did... he felt guilty cuz he didn't love you ... was too chicken shit to say so and pulled this EXCUSE

p-mom: the thing that is so hard to deal with...is.. a girl has worked very hard to cultivate her "relationship" with jon...and he is the only man a girl has had for months aside from when we played in a menage

SirwLove: it will be okay... you just can't see from where you are standing but I can see... just like I can't see past my mess
p-mom: this kind of leaves a girl...with only Bob
SirwLove: well girl ... I understand this perspective but its unfocused and incorrect ...stop saying it to yourself its a flawed tape
p-mom: is it?

SirwLove: yep... its the devil TRYING to make you self-hate
p-mom: the fact is.. a girl let all the rest of her "friends with benefits" slide

SirwLove: its flawed logic that LOOKS AND SEEMS like real but is in fact .... a skewed vision of you

p-mom: none of them could match how jon made me feel.. how easily the body responded to him

SirwLove: the "friend" that you mentioned to me before ... that said ....what was it that you told me ??? you were ... he said you were high maintenance or you were pushy or something what was it

p-mom: a girl openly admits to being a high maintenance submissive
SirwLove: lol not the point help me remember... what did he say? that I disagreed with sort of

p-mom: a girl doesn't know, Sir.. she could reread the archives...

SirwLove: anyway my point is that you do display great passion and desire and need
SirwLove: those are good things
SirwLove: however you compromise getting something longer lasting by demanding or needing something on a certain schedule.... its like...um

SirwLove: my business ruleSirwLove: there is good ...fast and inexpensive
SirwLove: but you only get to pick 2
SirwLove: its a ruleSirwLove: you can't get around it
p-mom: we've talked about that

SirwLove: and self hate is not in the equation
SirwLove: so ....

p-mom: and i don't.. self hate...this bit with jon.. only confuses me

SirwLove: okay perhaps that term is too strong

SirwLove: you said:

p-mom: But you know it won't ever be fine again... because your heart has died in your chest, only it is too stupid to quit beating

p-mom: he's waffled so badly over the course of the 9 months or so that he and i have known each other
SirwLove: referring to oneself as stupid ... is a form of self hate... mild to be sure but that was my point
p-mom: not oneself... reread what i wrote.. oh yeah.. and that is a line from a book by marion zimmer bradley

SirwLove: nods... okay I may not be saying it correctly for you to hear sorry

p-mom: see.. i've worked hard to keep things balanced for jon.. * that old submissive thing again.. everyone elses needs first
SirwLove: you are a good person ...good things will come to you... I believe if you create the space it will flow and happen

p-mom: and i have learned how to channel the emotional part of it so that i could deal with not seeing him but...and i know this sounds ridiculous... the body has not responded to any one else since i met jon i actually thought it was broke once

SirwLove: I know how that feels
p-mom: had a friend with benefits over one afternoon... a day when i should have soaked the bed... barely wet a towel... the body knew that the man wasn't jon and responded accordingly

SirwLove: okay ...understood... but that underscores what I am trying to say... you have a bad habit there in jon... create the space that it take to heal and it will fix and be BETTER with time

p-mom: nods.. and in the meantime.. i can continue to go quietly insane

SirwLove: well I run those club meetings

p-mom: as it stands... the boat that you are in is similar to the one i am in... physical needs are not being met.. masturbation aleviates the pressure for a time, but does not last for very long i am feeling sorry for myself.. no argument there as infrequent as jon and i saw each other... in general each visit was sufficient to hold me until the next and while i have met several hundred men who "want a squirtie girlie" this is Michigan..

SirwLove: nods

p-mom: here in Michigan...distance...is always a factor

SirwLove: gas is expensive... its not a throwaway thing to just have sex its an investment -projecting more meaning on meaningless sex than anyone would like
p-mom: i have to go get real life from the bus stop.. i'll be back

SirwLove: kk hugs
SirwLove: you have a kindergardener?
SirwLove: right?

p-mom: yes I do the " real life" I just fetched from the bus

SirwLove: there is NOTHING about sex that equals the joy of talking one of them when they get out of school
p-mom: at what point.. did either of us equate sex... with anything other than physical stress relief? some people work out.. to relieve stress some.. run..
SirwLove: yes... p-mom: some do drugs.. goddess knows there are a sufficient quantity of legal stress relieving drugs on the market these days

SirwLove: lol I think I have a point in all of this somewhere... I'm sorry you are hurting ((hugs))
p-mom: it is.. a standard state of affairs with me i don't know a time when i wasnt' hurting
SirwLove: that maybe true for me as well... but I'm not going to focus my sights on that... its not survival friendly
p-mom: well... i am tickled that you at least are able to focus your sights on ignoring basic human need
SirwLove: well if I have no food... lets say... and not going to have any for a few days till I get paid... lets say... does it do me much good to lament that I don't have food ? or to focus on what I do have that can get me by and fulfill and pass time till something better happens and food is available... rather than go to the store ...break in and take food saying its my basic need ... I have to have it

SirwLove: hypothetically speaking

p-mom: listen... i understand what you are trying to get across god knows i went a year...without sex the issue is...i wasn't a nice person for a lot of that year.. and i did make the point of telling jon.. that as awesome as it is.. sex is not the only reason i enjoyed hanging out with him there's the human companionship thing..humans.. are herd animals..we are not.. nor have we ever been solitary creatures

those of us who think otherwise go quietly insane...think in terms of the Unibomber for instance we are not meant to be alone...without others of our own kind to share our time with text on a screen is nice.. it opens the world to new possibilities...

SirwLove: agreed

p-mom: but.. it does not replace... and listen closely to this.. it does not replace human touch, human voice, human interaction
SirwLove: agreed

p-mom: ok.. all that said.. i love my children i work midnights so that my mini domme does not have to know day care
SirwLove: nods... yes
p-mom: my days at home..with the kids are spent... talking to people under the age of 5 for the most part.. enlightening to be sure...but...there are only just so many things one can say to a two year old that do not involve "get down from there"
SirwLove: chuckles... agreed

p-mom: ok...all of that said Jon... could make me smile.. giggle, and outright laugh without ever taking his clothes off. He is intelligent, and not afraid to be intelligent. interacting with him...gave me a really good reason to continue to be intelligent

SirwLove: nods

p-mom: again... human interaction we are not meant to be solitary creatures and as much as i swear i hate people...

SirwLove: I agree with what you are saying

p-mom: i know.. that as a human.. i can't go extended periods without having a conversation.. without touching another human not without going slowly, irrevocably mad and please do not give me the line about getting that human interaction from my children i love my kids... and would give my life for any of them but... there is no way...that even the most devoted parent can focus solely on the needs of their children without causing themselves great emotional harm

SirwLove: have not disagreed ... scrolls back to check... nope I agree
p-mom: .. we are back to the beginning
p-mom: how long can a person exist in a vacuum? how long can any human exist without...love

SirwLove: you are talking about 2 conditions...however
SirwLove: sex vs love
SirwLove: touch vs... interaction
SirwLove: something that lasts and means something spiritual vs... a "workout"
SirwLove: both important however
p-mom: well.. given that.. the whole.. something that lasts and mean something spiritual has not existed in my world for nearly a year now...and i tend to think that it likely won't ever exist in my world again...

SirwLove: that's often how I feel
SirwLove: got that part ...yes

p-mom: I had a "deep meaningful spiritual" relationship
SirwLove: maybe those are illusions that we create to give our lives meaning... its a chicken/egg thing
p-mom: who are you trying to convince? life.. is an illusion
SirwLove: excellent metaphor.... Joseph Campbellp-mom: life really is an illusion because each of us perceives their existance... differentlySirwLove: we come from The God energy source ...to this life to teach our soul "something" and then return to be one again with the God energy source - and that immortal place is what is "real" and this life... illusion with blinders to teach a lesson


SirwLove: and that ended the convo eh? well I like to get the last word anyway




"how your soul learns... blessed and burned in the fire of your life!"