§irw/£ove says:
good timing mmmmmmmmmmmmmmuah
snail says:
i have a question... when You say You love me...what do You mean by that?
§irw/£ove says:
oooooooh good question I think about that a lot
snail says:
i know it's not gonna be the answer i want but i want to know
§irw/£ove says:
what does it really mean ...how much do I mean I love you more than I want to admit to myself this is a hard question for me
snail says:
i know im sorry
§irw/£ove says:
okay sometimes when I play the song s you gave me
§irw/£ove says:
I am like totally in love with you and I want to be 25 again soooo bad really and sometimes when I think about what I really want and How I am so much older I hold back some of what I might LIKE to feel more of
snail says:
what do You really want?
§irw/£ove says:
I wanted my family but I don't really get to have that so its like a nightmare...and nothing feels good even things that start to feel good hurt me... and I DO LOVE YOU sooo I am scared scared to care more scared to care less
some days miss you tons other days I am hoping you are fighting your battles because I can't help you much and some days I just wanna come see you
I am mixed up but I care a great deal about you
snail says: Ok ty Sir
§irw/£ove says:
I don't know how you fit in and I don't know how to NOT have you in my life
snail says:
i understand it's hard
§irw/£ove says:
it is very tricky... but I do know if you do all the best things you can for you and I do the same we will only be better off when and if a time comes for US
snail says:
okay
§irw/£ove says:
and so I say I love you because although I can't be your boyfriend really and even tho I am not your father I feel love for you in a very good and innocent way
snail says:
Ok
§irw/£ove says:
when I see you smilng I go oh oh oh
snail says:
ya
§irw/£ove says:
when he says that ...
§irw/£ove says:
sings that
§irw/£ove says:
that's how you want me to feel
snail says:
What i want will never happen
§irw/£ove says:
see when I read those words I cry
snail says:
im sorry
§irw/£ove says:
maybe you know something I don't
snail says:
It's the truth tho
§irw/£ove says:
maybe you can see something I can't
§irw/£ove says:
I am rooted in right now...
§irw/£ove says:
trying to get thru each day
§irw/£ove says:
survival
§irw/£ove says:
or I go nuts or kill myself
snail says:
Sir i want You...i know You want her to come back to be a family again, i know You think Your too old and im too young, and i know in reality it's not gonna be what i want it to be in the end...i just wish i could be with You forever
snail says:
i love You
§irw/£ove says:
(hugs)
§irw/£ove says:
I know snail .. you know I struggle every day with what would be best for my boys and rarely do I think about me I can see venita might be more civil and better about this all but she doesn't want me....
my heart is broken and I don't feel very good
snail says:
and my life is all just a dream... thats the reality of it, it's a dream that wont come true
§irw/£ove says:
so for your dream to happen with me my nightmare has to continue and get worse its hard from where I sit to root for that...lol
snail says:
i dont want that for You
§irw/£ove says:
so that probably seems like I don't want to be with you sometimes
snail says:
no
snail says:
i understand Sir
§irw/£ove says:
just keep doing your best ...snail... and try not to get to frustrated with me I know sometimes I get frustrated....
snail says:
im not frustrated with You at all Sir
§irw/£ove says:
I want to be held and to be loved but I don't believe in it either I am angry and bitter its awful I am mixed up and want the things you talk about
snail says:
me too Sir
§irw/£ove says:
I want to be happy
§irw/£ove says:
do I get to be happy again someday?
§irw/£ove says:
does it matter?
§irw/£ove says:
or do I just keep making money and that is what matters
snail says:
You should get to be happy
§irw/£ove says:
there are no guarantees in love, apparently snail, but you can count on me doing my best by you, always I do not want to hurt you ...get you all involved in loving me and dump your ass
snail says:
too late, im already involved in loving You
§irw/£ove says:
lol ..mmmmm too late... I am not playing around fuck I'm sorry
snail says:
nothing to be sorry for Sir
§irw/£ove says:
told you it was a hard question
snail says:
i know
snail says:
and i kinda knew the answer
§irw/£ove says:
I don't ever get to be happy here again... you could feel it when you were here it still stuns me.. and that is where I am stuck in my nightmare
snail says:
and i want to steal You and the boys away from that..but i cant, so what use am i?? thats how i feel
§irw/£ove says:
you might be the only person I"ve ever let in this close to see. O dm t dgpe'jsdnasdgkgn
snail says:
i dont mean to hurt You
§irw/£ove says:
I know you feel that way but you aren't useless
snail says:
but i need to tell You how i feel
§irw/£ove says:
if you just make yourlife better and better ... it will be an example of courage to me and to my boys .... they want to see you grow up and have a life too ya know
snail says:
it's not gonna happen though
§irw/£ove says:
and now I am crying and yes you do have to tell me how you feel
snail says:
i pretend it will, but i know it won't it's all just a dream
§irw/£ove says:
so I m sorry
snail says:
it's not Your fault
snail says:
no need to be sorry
§irw/£ove says:
do you want me not to say I love you?
snail says:
no no no..i like when You say it
snail says:
im sorry i made You upset Sir
snail says:
it's not what i wanted
snail says:
im sorry
§irw/£ove says:
snail princess
§irw/£ove says:
you have to hear this
§irw/£ove says:
pls
§irw/£ove says:
gonna say it again later probably but listen
§irw/£ove says:
I am already living every moment upset
§irw/£ove says:
like my skin is on fire and I can't believe my eyes
§irw/£ove says:
you can't upset me
§irw/£ove says:
you are like cool water
§irw/£ove says:
you are the breeze and the light
§irw/£ove says:
the easy way to be loved and cherised... if only I could think why I deserve that... maybe I could have more...
snail says:
ok
§irw/£ove says:
youu can't upset me
§irw/£ove says:
not you
snail says:
Ok
§irw/£ove says:
only when you wanna give up and not fight ...then I feel a little lonely because I know how it feels to fight alone
snail says:
ok
§irw/£ove says:
okay do I love you or not?
§irw/£ove says:
snail says:
yes You do
§irw/£ove says:
what the hell does it mean
§irw/£ove says:
dunno ... I didn't claim to mean a lot... I am not worth much... I understand that
snail says:
thats a lie
§irw/£ove says:
ty I think... I love you
§irw/£ove says:
right now I am an old married guy look I know that every girl that has come and gone has enjoyed her collar and been better off for it when she left.
§irw/£ove says:
you I don't want to leave you are different... it is not right it is naughty wrong
it is good
it is fun
snail says:
im not planning on leaving
§irw/£ove says:
it is delicious
§irw/£ove says:
kerri left because she loved me and could n't be with me ... or did she tell you something else?
snail says:
she didnt tell me anything
§irw/£ove says:
I think her timing was bad...lol
§irw/£ove says:
you might have left if you had met me 4 yrs ago
§irw/£ove says:
anyway don't leave
snail says:
doubt it
snail says:
i wont leave
snail says:
thats the last fucking thing i would do
§irw/£ove says:
really?
snail says:
god i just want to grab You and hug You....yes really
snail says:
You have no idea how much i care about You
snail says:
You should go to bed You look exhausted
§irw/£ove says:
people love and then leave... that's all I have ever seen .... ya know?
snail says:
but im different
§irw/£ove says:
I am just surviving, snail
§irw/£ove says:
this house this life was all for her
§irw/£ove says:
the kids everything ..hell I would not even be in Michigan
snail says:
fuck im different Sir....if i could i would fly there right now get on my knees and ask You to marry me....or if i could get venita back to You how it used to be i would i fucking love You so much Sir You dont understand
§irw/£ove says:
I can't live in it and survive... and dont' want it to be taken from my kids... I can see 9 months more of crushing payments and bare bones living... and then maybe wooo hooo I can get divorced and then if I survive that maybe I might be loveable enough and you might want me if I haven't done or said something stupid
love is a hard question snail
its adult and complicated... its lush and alluring
its fun and passionate...red hard...
snail says:
i dont want You to hurt, i dont want You to be unhappy, i would do anything in the whole fucking world to make You happy to make things good for You even if it hurt me or made me in debt fucked me up i wouldnt care i'd do it in a heartbeat Sir....i will always want You Sir, im not gonna leave, i dont care what happens what You say...the only way i will leave is if You tell me to
§irw/£ove says:
but it hurts sometimes a lot ... and I cherish your heart. like YOU don't understand... yet... but maybe will someday... why I have gone slow with you
§irw/£ove says:
love you shhhhhhhh
§irw/£ove says:
I am tired
snail says:
i know i can tell
§irw/£ove says:
going to bed
snail says:
Alright
snail says:
hey
§irw/£ove says:
but you got an honest answer anyway
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
