another visit with snail

a Windsor audition...
a second chance and her second over night...
just one night is not enough...
and yet just right...
kisses are so good...
each one special and wanted
making the day feel normal
each happy moment reminds me of what I miss and had before...
each happy moment makes me want more happy moments...
but I don't know what I deserve and so
yeah, so yeah
just right amount so I miss her and we move forward
at the snail's pace that is so right for healing.





"how your soul learns... blessed and burned in the fire of your life!"

this blog may end soon

I have tried to post regularly and honestly...
I value that greatly but... honestly and regularly may bring me trouble.

do I have to add lies and irregularity to keep this?
that may be the only answer other than deletion...

THIS BLOG MAY END SOON
OR SOON BE WELL PAST ITS INTENDED USE...

when everything is a lie...
there is no truth here to hurt me

Random Question

Random Question:
Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?

How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in --Oscar Wilde


"how your soul learns... blessed and burned in the fire of your life!"

your values vs. your ability to stick to what you believe

your values vs. your ability to stick to what you believe
do you ever compromise your values?do you ever give in to the devil ?
we all do really
we are sinners
God put us here with free will we are children of God... left to love him of our own free willbut we are often left feeling lost and alone it is the human conditionno one escapes this not the richnot the powerfulno one
for example if we don't MEAN what we say.... or if we don't back up what we say with actions ...especially when things are hard
then we compromise our valuesso whether its big or small it matters right?

********************************his_cherishedangel: what did the wife do now?
SirwLove: you are such a girl
his_cherishedangel: ?
SirwLove: you just wanna know the dirt
his_cherishedangel: lol
SirwLove: I am trying to survive and evaluate

SirwLove: boy style vs girl style

SirwLove: the guys were right... I am too soft to be a Man... I care too much ...

SirwLove: if I was a typical guy

his_cherishedangel: u are a great man

SirwLove: I would have no answer to "what did she do now"

SirwLove: I would not have been paying attention in the first place

SirwLove: my answer to your question tho...

his_cherishedangel: listens









SirwLove: she's way out of control : she was loud and hateful and full of venom yesterday
packed her bags for nowhere in front of my kids

SirwLove: broke another tooth in her mouth
SirwLove: wants help but won't let me help
SirwLove: wants only smoke and cigs
SirwLove: wants no part of being a responsible mom
SirwLove: wants to run away
SirwLove: has no means to do so
SirwLove: wants ME to fund the impossible
SirwLove: ruined a planned family outing
SirwLove: stayed home...

last night and the boys and I went to the Detroit Tigers game!
it might have been magical and healing but she truly wants to hurt me
blames me for all her self cause ills and she wants to see me suffer I guess

she feels trapped so it makes her feel good to see me suffer

she will never get it... her disease is too far gone she'll be dead and arguing with God or the Devil one day about how she had more time coming
I wish I was at church right now with my *cries*
I have lost and won
lost everything
and won a hollow victory I have no family
only illusion