I am going out of my freaking head crazy!

damn I need to be held by some understanding arms...
and just cry this shit out and then...

then... a couple rounds of hoobastank...
and start my life over.


I am tired of being in the way... causing her to throw up, lie and cheat.

I am way worn out and don't want to go home.

I am inches from being done...
probably already done on one side....

(turns over and bakes the other side)



damn












Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

crazy crazy crazy....


hurt my thumb at baseball, may be broken... we shall see...
its certainly hard to hit the space bar...

I feel behind ...I feel so unattractive...
but I'm working on feeling better.

I will NOT give in or give up.
I will love my boys...
I will try to find a way...

I will be steadfast and reliable...

I will NOT let the monster win


truly wish I had time to sit and think and write ...but I don't.

missing some
wishing others...

enjoy and treasure what I DO have.









Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

a lil more of pixi wisdom........












?i×i says:
mmmmmmmuuuuuaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok now any who hows the weather its allready 85 here and its not even noon yet
§irw/£ove says:
very very nice today about perfect 65 degrees birds chriping I wanna nap
?i×i says:
aww then go nap lol
?i×i says:
i actually dont feel like i need one for once
§irw/£ove says:
she is gonna make a dinner... I sense that coming on... and to not make trouble I will eat and like it... and I'm sorry

?i×i says:
sorry for ? ???


§irw/£ove says:
sorry for being here ...allowing this ..sharing all my pain but not leaving I know it hurts my friends this is my own hard journey and only I can know when enough is enough


last night

clearly I was toast


but right now,
with her in my face...

I don't have the words in me now to start a fight and end this












Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

missing snail...










wishing someone would kiss me and rub my neck






Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

talking to pixi right now...I don't think she reads this blog...she's got enough on her plate...


?i×i says:
HAPPY FATHERS DAY YOU WONDERFUL SEXY MAN
§irw/£ove says:
thanks pixi
?i×i says:
any time
?i×i says:
kissies
?i×i says:

?i×i says:
how goes thigns there my sweet
§irw/£ove says:
she is back
?i×i says:
and
§irw/£ove says:
we are being civil ... I have not looked her in the face
?i×i says:
ohhhh hunny
§irw/£ove says:
she is going to the store right now....
?i×i says:
ahhh
?i×i says:
if i wasnt such a nice pixi id be tempted to call her and give her the ass chewin of a life time
§irw/£ove says:
* *
§irw/£ove says:
thanks for caring.... I don't frankly know what to say right now
?i×i says:
YOu dont ahve to say a thign if ya dont wanna just know im here
?i×i says:
for a few mins that is lol
§irw/£ove says:
love you
§irw/£ove says:
I wish that I could just dissappear and not be
§irw/£ove says:
I can handle her not being here
§irw/£ove says:
better and better
§irw/£ove says:
I don't know what to believe and so I mistrust and believe the worst
?i×i says:
ohhhh baby
?i×i says:
i wish there were so much more i could do for you
§irw/£ove says:
I feel the same toward you
?i×i says:
giggles i really do love and care for YOU and alwyas will things in your life will get better some way some how
?i×i says:
my life is finalaly shapping a up alil better yours can too
§irw/£ove says:
oh wouldn't that be sweet...
?i×i says:
IT WILL HAPPEN DAMMIT
?i×i says:
i know its hard but try to think positive
?i×i says:
ok im gonna be a bitch for a sec but i have to say soemthing
?i×i says:
QUIT worring about me
?i×i says:
Quit worring about niki
?i×i says:
focus on YOU and you kids and making YOUR life better

You need to focus on YOu and kick the person or persons that are causing such drama in YOur life out or it

§irw/£ove says:
I can't just not talk to you or her... or even venita
?i×i says:
um im not saying that
§irw/£ove says:
sometimes just knowing you care is enough to keep me going
§irw/£ove says:
but I am trying to do what you said.... focus on me and the boys
?i×i says:
im saying that you need to buck up and tells us that we need to deal with our own problems cause you have your own and not worry 'bout us

§irw/£ove says:
I think I know what you mean doing my best ya know

?i×i says:
i know you can tell em to keep my opinions to myself if ya wanna but i care for you so much that i feel like i have to butt in and try to help

§irw/£ove says:
thanks lil one













Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

**this is an older one, written for my spirit girl before she went away. cleaning out my mail box... lol but thought I'd share



Before She Went Away


could have done so many things but I let you rest...

I let you sleep...

I watched you sleep and thought about

your bed an how you like it to feel

covers tight or lose tonight

this way or that way...
how is your nose...
can you go this way?
hmmmmm
now that's good...
oh,
oh,
oh...oh yeah...


and getting hard now against your ass.

bed is never the same with out you next to me...
learned that early on


there is sleep,
and there is sleepin' with tita...


now you might laugh and say what?
but I know the difference.

to be put to bed by You angel

is undescribable...

even for me ...and all my words...

sleepin with you is only surpassed by one other pleasure my girl


to wake up with you (tears)

ah, (stabs his heart with fake dagger)

ah, ( back of hand to forehead)

to wake next to your soft skin...

your smell

your sometimes grumbly demeanor


wishing only to bring back the smile...
I take your shoulder and kiss and rub.
I wish to give you freedom and love in each day.

in hope to find you back in my bed
each night
curled at my back

or goin' the "other way"

just so you are there when I wake up...
my treasure baby ...girl



SirwithLove














Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."