Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."




okay God answers some prayers in strange ways...
yesterday was another in the tragedy play of my life...
thank God for my snail... and thank God for pixi.


and I am deteremined to have a better day today



lots to do

and awwwwww the internet is off at home....

is that a good thing or a bad thing....


one can never know







but the devil is pissed and that's probably good.



mmmmmmmmmuah !!!

Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

she broke my heart again last night...
then snuggled me till I feel asleep crying...
she got up and talked to HIM last night...
and then was gone this morning...

and this is what she left me:

awwbabygrl (4/28/2004 5:55:32 AM): I am sorry we had such a rough night. Today is a new day and full of better possibilities for us all . I do love U and never want to hurt U...it doesn't better me and makes me sad. Thank U for all Ur help lately and with the boys it is allowing me to try to help us all and myself. i know it wasn't fair but I took 2 dollars from what U had laying out so I had something inmy pocket for my long day. I will see if I can find us some more today to get us along our way ...Hope the tummy is healing and I have my teather if U need me. Kiss my angels and tell them Mom loves them and to have a good day...XOXOX

I wish I knew what the fuck to do with all this! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

?i×igode§§ says:cantnat type today
§ir w/£ove says: no I don't want to be on the phone I will cry and I'm not having it pls...not this time... I have to be pulling my ass up not crying tell me why do you love me?
?i×igode§§ says: i Iove you cause You are a wonderfuI man you make me feeI good Ioved wanted and sexy ywonderfulonderfuI father and a wonderfuI man you make me want to be a better woman
§ir w/£ove says: I like that one ty
?i×igode§§ says: you are one of the most Iovign caring person ii have ever ment
§ir w/£ove says: and so doomed be shit on I suppose....lmao
§ir w/£ove says: was promising myself would leave computer at 11pm
for Simpsons 9min more...lol
?i×igode§§ says: not xactIy you just need to toughin up a bit and know when to heIp and when not to
§ir w/£ove says: she is going to indiana to see randy again this weekend she just told me okay I eeked that out I didn't want to say it but
?i×igode§§ says: say what hunny ?
§ir w/£ove says: venita just told me ..she is going to indiana to see randy again this weekend

?i×igode§§ says: im sorry hunny
§ir w/£ove says: I am so confused.... so tell me again you love me...
?i×igode§§ says: i Iove You more than anyone eIse I Iove You so so so so much

§ir w/£ove says: the way it works is that you love me forever... and when you move in and marry me ...that's even more forever... and when you have kids that's even MORE forever... and then.. I love her like you say you love me... hypothetically speaking of course soooo how am I supposed to let go?? cuz I have to learn this and its hard
?i×igode§§ says: YOu are the most wonderfuI man i have ever Ioved and You wiII aiways be inmy heart
§ir w/£ove says:
hypothetically, of course
?i×igode§§ says: there is no way to truIy Iet go
§ir w/£ove says: I mean..... if I mean all that I have said... I love her the way you say you love me
?i×igode§§ says: i understand that and i KNow i know that iwiII never forget you

§ir w/£ove says: I can not sit here and think of all I have done for her and NOT been rewarded... WHILE SHE SAYS RANDY IS GONNA FEED ME AND TAKE ME TO A MOVIE
I just want to be kissed and appreciated... not hurt and shit on every day


?i×igode§§ says: weIi if you and i were together YOuwouId be hun thats aii i can say

§ir w/£ove says:I don't need anything more than an end to the chaos.... and I have to just let you tell me how to let go... let go... let gooooooooooooooooooooooo I can't sit around and feel sorry for me...especially in front of her if I think I am owed something I will be a very angry man to live with I have to not go there

oh well I feel like doing something mean and stupid now... and I can't do that either.... I am gonna go to bed... I apologize for being weak in front of you... it is because I trust you ... and love you... I believe in what you say. you are my pixi?i×igode§§

§ir w/£ove[{pixi}{Nikki}] says: ???

?i×igode§§ says: ok now Iisten to me cIoseIy in just as ec

ok im no sure how to teIi you to Iet go cause itds differnt for each person


one hting quit sIeeping next to her


next quit being so civi with her


rage at her teIi her how you feIi jsut dont do it in front of the kids



but iets taIk of this tomorrow pIease


you need to go to bed
§ir w/£ove says: okay fair enough ty mmmmmmmmmuah
?i×igode§§ says: mmmuuuuaaaahhh iIi think on how to heIp you Iet go and weII taIk tomorrow
§ir w/£ove says: mmmmm good girl
§ir w/£ove[{pixi}]says: nite
?i×igode§§ says: night master Iove You








Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

http://twinkleripple.blogspot.com/


so exciting~!! another simple sweet blog

http://librarywoman.blogspot.com/


that's a good one.... collection of links, ideas, resources, and miscellany to help create a world that is just and sustainable.

snail update...
something's going on...

I am thinking today about the value of the words...

"The Truth, The WHOLE Truth and nothing but the truth."

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

*rubs his chin*







...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?

...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?



(sn) called.... woooooooooo hoooooo !
I was very worried... glad she's still there!

...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?


Monday at work... I have decided to find the strength to keep trying...
not runaway...
find the power in me to survive one more week.

and where the fuck is my snail?? (sn)

I woke up this morning at 545 and crapped then cried my eyes out...screamed into my pillow in the back room and then put on Hard Day's Night on video made it half way and fell back asleep .... thanks to John Paul George and Ringo.







...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?