okay today's joke from Richard Jenni.... he says the difference between Charles Manson and every woman Richard's ever been in love with is this.... Manson has the decency to truly show how screwed up he is on the first meeting











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4 quotes makes a gallon... and a bonus




What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you're going through hell, keep going.
--Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) British Statesman, Prime Minister, Author

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
--Mahatma Gandhi

The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.'
--Billy Graham

How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in
--Oscar Wilde


**

random thoughts prop my eyes open like little toothpicks

there may be a change in the weather...

spring calls for rebirth...

it is lonely in the middle of the night

pick one person and be honest as you can...

see what you get back, I said.

I did, friend... she replied.

my friend is hurting

...can't always hear what I say.

I keep shouting at the silent wall

I keep bringing my spirit to water's edge

I spit into the wind that says I am too weak

too stupid too human to know when enough is enough.





SirwithLove








...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?

...always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?







I hate my wife.... why? I used to be her Man... now no matter how good I am ...how loving....or how much money I give her... she is looking for someone else and cumming on the phone for Men she's never met... hey boys come and get it.




there that felt good to get out...







she treats me like a child these days....












and this is the crap from her new fella....
bye mario.....

hello new fool.....













V,
Good morning baby,
I missed you last night and pleasant thoughts of you were on my mind all night.
I really enjoyed our time on the phone today, it was such a turn on hearing you climax
it would have been so nice to have been there with you, but if so i'm sure it would have lasted much longer.
I know it hasnt even been a week since we first, began chatting, but it seems as if my heart has known you my whole life........

Talking with you I feel an Inner peace that I felt back then. And I cant thank you enough for that V.


I have a feeling that it would be so very easy to love you.

I hope you and your family, had a nice evening.

When I got home I spent the time ....but mostly daydreaming about you.


I believe this spring may hold some unexpected changes in both of our lives. Well I hope anyways.lol

Anyways Im going to close for now . Hope to talk soon.
Miss You Baby







**** I love her and want her happy but she disrespects and hurts the person she claims is her best friend.... why go find a new love venita? your 'forevers' mean nothing.



I ache for our little boys.




:(

...Always more about SirwithLove by going to: http://groups.msn.com/BDSMLairofDarkness/_whatsnew.msnw?








































cunt says:
sometimes when i read what the other slaves write You, and the convo's You have with them...i feel like im just another one of Your slaves, and i think sometimes i hope that its not that...i know You care about me but i know You care about the others too, and i guess im just greedy and want to feel special, to feel like i have someone that cares only about me and no other women ya know...i know it sounds bad to say that but that's sometimes just how i feel i don't know if its cause of the past or whatever but ya know...


§ir W/£ove says: well said
cunt says: ty Sir...its just how i feel
§ir W/£ove says: I understand completely
§ir W/£ove says: lets see if I can help
cunt says: ok
§ir W/£ove says: what you just described as wanting for you... is perfect and you deserve it it is more important for you than say... a great D/s relationship with me... and I am a grown man so I am not a fool about what girl like you needs and should want
cunt says: no i want a D/s relationship Sir
§ir W/£ove says: you've grown up in hell so it is really important to heal the wounds so that you can give yourself to a D/s relationship freely not escape your hell for another hell just because it is different
cunt says: i guess i just dont want to share You

§ir W/£ove says: first you see what I am saying?
cunt says: i wanna feel loved, and special, i want to be happy§ir W/£ove says: we all want that cunt
cunt says:experience things i missed out on growing up
§ir W/£ove says:nods I ache for you lil one


§ir W/£ove says: now about sharing ME there are 2 contexts to discuss
one is in the context of our D/s relationship the other is the context of reality pick one for me to start with
cunt says: D/s
§ir W/£ove says: okay D/S in that world... 1) you are a my cunt...owned slave bitch and I don't fucking care about your tears over sharing me... honestly you are for my pleasure in the D/s world.... and I need lots of attention more than you can devote right now... so be patient and your time could increase in the next year.

2) in the D/s world Master may decide that from time to time he wants the attention of bi slaves
cunt says: i know Sir
§ir W/£ove says:
there is no way to do this well unless you have sister whom I approve of
§ir W/£ove says:
I could leave it to you to bring me a slave from time to time to play with us...but you are new
§ir W/£ove says:
and you have your own steps to learn ...it is too much to ask
§ir W/£ove says:
so... in the D/s sense
§ir W/£ove says:
you are not really to concern your self about sharing me...because it is only your job to please my needs wants and fantasies and trust that I know what is best
cunt says:yes i understand Sir
§ir W/£ove says: further if you don't like it (...in the D/s context, only) we can stop now
§ir W/£ove says: choose cunt
cunt says: no no no no no§ir W/£ove says: good
cunt says:i dont want to stop Sir§ir W/£ove says: now sssssssssh I know U now in the reality context
§ir W/£ove says: I am a married man ... who's marriage is failing
§ir W/£ove says: I have been faithful to my vows and wife for 11 yrs
§ir W/£ove says: I don't want it to end and everything I do with you or anyone could be said to be cheating on HER now she doesn't care but that's not the point
§ir W/£ove says: the point is that because I have my history too...my baggage...my children with her even even if we decided to move in together you would have to deal with sharing me with my future ex and my kids etc and I wouldn't blame any girl for not wanting that
cunt says: i knowSir
§ir W/£ove says: I hate the whole divorce and step parent culture completely I grew up in it often I feel frozen not able to blow up the lousy life I am doomed to be in because I don't want my kids to live the crap of divorce
cunt says but hey at least Yougrew up with parents...ones that loved You cared for You etc i wish i could help You Sir
§ir W/£ove says: my parents do love me but they can't help me
cunt says i wish i could just make mario say fuck you i dont want to be with you§ir W/£ove says:he did! lol
primaballerina_14 says: or make your wife realize what she is doing§ir W/£ove says: many times
cunt says: he did???

§ir W/£ove says:yes

okay it is killing me that I have not been writing...

so many thoughts pent up and not getting out of my stressed out brain.

first off folks probably want to know the fun stuff...

well, this week there was some fun stuff and some not so fun stuff on line.

I am considering all possibilities and enjoy looking at profiles....
imagining with each new person what it might be like to meet ...
to play even...

to relax...

and be treated well....


its truly amazing sometimes how things evolve and change....

I find myself unable to talk unable to write unable to change the course of what is going to happen next.

and yet if I am unable - what does that make my life... besides a lie to myself?


this week it was great to have pixi back on line but we immediately had a misunderstanding about her collar status... I love her so... she has been such a strong person in the face of her struggles... very inspiring and always loving towards me. there is so much more about my friend and slave girl pixi that I can't express it well in words here... I regret the distance in miles and years between us... she is real. and wonderful too!

heavens has made a great attempt to be on line as chat with Sir... very obedient and very devoted in the little time she feels well enough to visit.... I wish I could do more.

cunt.... sorry, that's her name now...
is amazing ... she makes me crazy because I care so much...
I know in my heart there is no way to know what she really is about until we meet... and even then it will take knowing her for a long time... to see how she goes after her goals in life.... she is so young . And because I care I don't want to add to the abuse she's suffered... she deserves a chance...at something better.

I do chat with many subs and slaves each week ...some mean a great deal ...some are just a tease ...others looking for information and others simply lost and not knowing..... some that a month ago moved me have....er ..moved on... others simply dropped out of site with out saying anything....
each participates at different levels... that is important to remember when weighing the importance of on line relationships.

frankly I can admit to liking the attention of willing submissives...


meanwhile,



all of that is filler....

killing time till I make the biggest decisions.


venita...
time slips away...
the pretty girl I love ...is lost.

an invalid.

what good does it do to cry, beg, demand, leave or stay.
what example will it be to my sons to be this man much longer...

my spirit girl
my reason for doing what life demands.
my promises to myself and God.
my failure ...that I deny.

time to forgive and heal or time blow up the world....

it is sometimes hard to distinguish...
hard to pull your friend from the quicksand...
when you up to your eyeball already.


someone told me this week I need a vacation....
I need a lot of things...
but I wont' be getting them.



I am the responsible one everyone counts on....
and don't worry everyone....



I will still be here...
just a bit grumpy.


:(

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